Need to remember to post to this thing every now and again

Right... if I am to become super kawaii and popular on Live Journal, I have to remember to post entries.

I think I've also figured out why I don't want to post here. Seriously... HATE the assholes at ONTD. They are all fucking jerks and only want people to blow smoke up their own asses. I've not seen any clue to indicate that this isn't the normal level of moron to expect here.

If anybody thinks to get me to like that involves them wanking me off, blowing smoke up my ass, regurgitating my own opinions back at me, maybe even giving a bit of a rim job while blowing smoke up my ass and generally shitting me... well then, they usually get shocked and surprised and don't understand what they are doing wrong... "But... I'm being a little yes-man parrot and not actually my own unique person! Why don't you like me"

Maybe it is because doing that makes it so you are not people.

Sure... not doing that might make you terrible people... but at least you are people.

Maybe if I could get a couple different groups and ways to get other people on here to give a shit about this website. I mean... I don't even really come here to read posts for the most part, as I don't really have much for places to read posts. On top of that... what Live Journal suggests is shit like ONTD and the even stupider Asian version. Which I suppose I could use if I got really drunk and was sexually attracted to East Asian people.

Oh... right... PREPARE ACCUSATIONS OF ME HATING EAST ASIANS! Because I don't want to fuck them... I must completely hate them. As... that... makes sense... somehow. Apparently, only East Asians do stuff like Nepotism or grow up in rich fancy neighbourhoods too... never knew that until I got in trouble for being racist after accusing somebody of nepotism and growing up in a rich neighbourhood (and thus not able to connect with me). Apparently accusing somebody of nepotism is hateful to East Asian type people.

Can't I just fucking call them "Yellow People"? It is the fucking skin colour this shit is based on. Not where they grew up, lived or were raised. Much like I call Black People "Black People"... as a lot of them haven't been in Africa for a millennium or two, not all were brought over on a boat to Merka--some were incorporated into things in Roman times! Some aren't even in Merka either... calling somebody whose family has been in Sweden for three generations "African American" just sounds fucking special.

The hate doesn't even matter apart from one or two very visible features... let's just be honest about this when describing them? Please? Or is "not being racist" mean I have to insult people's intelligence and figure out how to be a hateful jerk using the proper clinical terms... as being racist means I'm just not saying my bullshit with the right proper clinical terms... and really nothing to do with the bullshit I am saying?

Oh... and not wanting to have sex with the group. Same reason I hate men and gay guys.... and gay guys hate women. Because not wanting to have sex means you have to be hating that group... or... something. I missed a memo or something here. I'm totally not caught up on these matters... and you guys are idiots from my point of view.

I might figure out more stuff to post... but it is kind of hard... when I don't really have much that I read or view on this website. Apart from one or two people's journals... all I see is generally the most banal crap possible. At first I wanted to be like, "maybe there is good stuff and I haven't found it"... but now I'm not really certain.

Give it a bit, and I will consider this website on par with Vampire Freaks... ah... good times... good times. Except, replace good times with "terribly frustrating times dealing with self righteous whiny assholes without any form of enjoyable reciprocation from the matter"... and you are getting closer.

(no subject)

Got a place to draw stuff now by ~KatrinaTheLamia
Collapse )Oh hey, I have my computer stuff together now! Hooray! So I can start posting a LOT of artwork. YAAAAAAAY!

Some of you may have noticed something about this artwork: it is smaller than my usual posts. Say what?

I'm experimenting with something. Right now, I'm posting tiny version stuff of my artwork. I'll have to work into the system my watermarking efforts, and figure out the perfect "sizing target" for the sample versions of my images. Possibly requiring that I have them under a certain amount of units and file size.

Which means you'll probably note that I've also set it up to have the "Premium Download" feature on my artwork. I removed the download check mark on any of my newer uploads. My older ones still allow you to download the work. So it is just the newer and getting ever better images you will find you have issues doing that. So yes... you can still grab and view my crappy old versions of my artwork.

KY: Fuck The Police Gently by ~KatrinaTheLamia

I really need to figure out some way to have my images float to the side in these journal things.

You'll note it has been a while since I posted pictures of my sexy damned arse. Well, there is a reason for that: most of the pictures I take suck. So... I'm making a new effort. Before uploading onto here, I put them onto a computer device I've set up to handle backing up images of my sightly mug. Then I go through the images and determine which ones can most easily be touched up to not suck as much.

Mostly it would be an effort of cropping the images (if needed/possible) and using Multiply and Addition filters on a duplicate layer of the image. Which ever has the image looking better. I might even make a wizard of some kind out of this. Do a few duplicate layer modifications (dup layer multiplied, duo layer addition, dup divide, dup lighten, dup soften, dup subtraction, etc), have the person able to select... and have it be part of Gwenview's tool kit.

Yeah, that is the other side of things. I have a better mobile signal in my new room. Not only that, I'm probably going to contact Shaw Cable and get a wall based internet connection set up. That is so I have some extra space until I reprogram every god damned think in KDE4 to be more friendly to mobile/dialup connections.

The thing is, in the last ten years people forgot how to have websites and network software play nice with dialup connections. Websites I can just figure out an application framework to go around it when it isn't playing nice. Usually it means blocking images, flash and ECMAscript, and if you know what you are looking for, you CAN reverse engineer a website to create a dedicated application to go around how much bandwidth (and CPU) the website itself wastes on its own.

The idea is I use Shaw to grab software, documentation and updates, while I work on software that can run excellently on dialup and mobile carrier networks.

Why dialup? Well... part of the thing with dialup is you have a small bandwidth and a lot of packet loss. If anything mobile data carriers tend to be BETTER than dialup. So the idea is to gear something to work fine throttled to 2KiB/sec downstream and a 1KiB/sec upstream, and do the job of the application. Then on top of that have it periodically check if the network has disappeared, and not lose major functionality when the network disappears. Like in that it can resume to where it was before when the network reappears.

At the same time, I believe I had this promised before the end of Septembre.
Ninja Slash Bad Dude Teaser Poster by ~KatrinaTheLamia

Yeah... I should start working on creating the sprites for this game's resources. You know so when I push it back, I at least have something to show you.

Seriously... at least SOMETHING needs to be made in creating this game. "Ninja Slash Bad Dude: Take on the President"... the story is simple, they cannot decide who is to kidnap the President. Ninja thinks it is Bad Dude's job this week. Bad Dude thinks it is Ninja's job this week. So the one to first to fail to Kidnap the President has to rescue (and then kidnap) the President.

Two game play modes off the bat... Ninja Kidnaps, Ninja Rescues, Ninja Kidnaps+, Ninja Rescues+, Bad Dude Kidnaps, Bad Dude Rescues, Bad Dude Kidnaps+, Bad Dude Rescues+... and possibly a hidden mode where the President preemptively kidnaps Ninja and Bad Dude, under the grounds "they possess levels of mass awesome coolness, naturally we must not allow Ninjas and Bad Dudes to be able to get their MAC on, as such would be disastrous for the women and children. We believe that one of them desires to kidnap the President while the other proceeds to rescue me."

Also the game would be filled with a romantic linking. Thus justifying the Slash in the name.

In case you were not aware, there is something wrong with me.

Donnel Practice by ~KatrinaTheLamia

Also... going to do a lot more Fire Emblem fan work. It mostly pisses me off how much I SUCK at drawing the characters. Usually with a bit of practice I get better at it.

A few ideas are in the area. One is a fan game... or at least an engine were people can share scenarios that need to be solved. Maybe even a fan fiction plot based on the Awakening characters. Maybe I could also get through Fire Emblem (GBA), Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones(GBA), Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon (DS), Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn (GC) and figure out fanwork stuff to post based on those games. Though a game would definitely be nice to work with. I've played a bit of Fire Emblem (GBA), The Sacred Stones(GBA) and Shadow Dragon (DS)... so I do know a bit about the series.

I'd grab a few of the NES, SNES and other games that were only released in Japan. But the FONTS they use for text on the older games. Seriously. This is why only NEETs play those games in Japan. I mean, okay the Fonts in North American games are just as fucking bad. However I've already damaged my braincells enough to be able to allow myself to be okay with those. The ones from Japan... they have characters that have only a single pixel different from others. I do NOT want to go on a pixel hunt when reading shit. I mean 32bit systems and up, the Font files are not anywhere near as terrible... but any attempt to read really old games fonts in Japanese just has me wanting to beat the fuck out of whoever designed those letters so terribly.

I mean... I could cause myself a load more brain damage to be able to be okay with it... you know as I am aware that the NEETs who'd be okay with those Font Faces would do.

The other thing I want to do, is create a Manga based on my play through of the game. The thing with the Avatar character is that the legends generally tell all sorts of things about him or her. Not able to agree on gender, looks, marriage, class, weapon usage, etc.

So I'd start it as one of the varied varied versions. Told by a spoony bard. With people keep asking him to tell about "Romancing Sa-Ga", because they liked that story better. "I don't like this story... the people in it are terrible..."

And indeed they would be. You'd learn way too much about Donnel and Panne's attempts to repopulate the Taguile race. With me having Donnel be REALLY outrageously racist. "Not cool, Donnel! NOT COOL!" being a tag line... and the Taguiles being played like Black people. With flash backs of the race being hunted down featuring "cone hooded ghost warriors of flame and bondage"... and the Taguiles general interest in bondage anyways (guess how Panne and Donnel get married? Donnel ties her up, and she gets off on it).

With Kitty Harlot (the name of the Avatar) meeting up with Yarne and immediately being interested in "repopulating the Taguile"... with Yarne realising what was hanging out.

Yarne's name revealed that it comes from what was used to conceive him... just like his mother's middle name of "Velvet".

The best part is we'd not have to show the images.

Every time we cross the line twice, the Bard, Mr. Spoon S. Spoonison, will be interrupted again, "can't you tell us about Romancing Sa-Ga again? Please?"

Also, as I figure out how to time comics, I'm going to start posting some smut comics on here as well.

I'm thinking if I have objects obscuring erect penises, fluid being created and any vaginal insertion, it should be okay by Deviant Art standards. Consider it is more the story and what not behind the sex that gets me off, and I can easily use my imagination for any obscured sex... it should be JUST AS HOT BUT THIS SMUT FOLLOWS DEVIANT ARTS SHUNT!

I think this journal entry has gone on long enough. I'll have to see how posting journal entries for when I post new artwork works for drawing traffic.

This was cross posting from Katrina The Lamia's Deviant Art

Dream Diary: Katrina Documentary

This was done on the morning of July 18th 2013...

So for some reason I am called into my home. Having taken a kind of Metaverse approach to the Dreamscape as of late. Somebody was in my home, and was interested in knowing about me... which resulted in me being paged to return to it.

I appear in my home, having shed most of the stuff from the previous location I was... which is best described as "my real home". A dwelling place typically used by Michelle, but since having been brought back from the dead, I also tend to hang out there every now and again as well.

The room was a terrible rendered rendition of a location. The walls were all terrible overly compressed textures with JPEG artifacts in them. Not just the walls... so were the stairs. And the banister... was like a box with poles with white spaces as its texture. The room was a wooden lobby type room, where the door opens up into. A slight mud room to west of the door (the door faced north). Couches, cushions and bean bag chairs were all part of the textures on the east of the door. With a slight incline in the wall, to be able to fake sitting down.

The west wall had pictures of book shelves textured into it, and pictures of televisions.

South of the lobby were was a ramp with a texture of stairs on it, leading into a room seperated by a banister, with one wall that had a picture of a kitchen and a hallway to bedrooms on it. The east wall had a picture of a stair way upwards on it. In the lobby before the ramp with a shitty texture of stairs on it, there was a spot on the texture with a door to the basement.

All of these pictures on the wall were really shitty compressed jpeg images with artifacts and lots of pixels. Each pixel would have been about a square inch, from my perspective.

There was a girl and a guy walking around. They were clearly in a relationship... but the relationship was on the rocks. The girl was a curvy build, with a brown pony tail on the top of her head. Wearing a white spaghetti strapped top, arm bands right under her armpit and black flair jeans... you know the sort that have the pant legs get wider and wider until they get to the feet. She also had a strap going over her chest to allow herself to carry a long case... looking like it could contain a rifle... but it made the wrong noises.

The guy was tall, lanky, balding, wore glasses and had the expression of a plank of wood trying its hardest to look like Keanu Reeve's natural expression. He had two shoulder pads on, a white tank top, a black furry backpack and baggy black jeans with a thick belt. They both appeared to be wearing really nice boots by the sound their feet made on the floor.

There was a documentary about me on the television... it seemed more inclined to paint me as a buffoon and idiot. A lolcow if you will. Done very similar to most of the stuff on Encyclopedia Dramatic, to paint me as a lame person. My first comment was, "oh, hey a documentary... who would make one of those about me?"

I sit back on the inclined part of the wall that has a couch texture on it, "wow... this paints a very bad picture of me... hilarious though... the time some people spend on these things."

The girl looks at the guy, "doll house?"

The two then leave the room, I'm laughing, "oh hey! Come on, let's watch this... this is hilarious! Not entirely accurate... well, you'd expect me to deny all of that stuff. Oh god... that was me from four years ago! Hah! Look at how silly I look!"

The two of them walk out of my home, I then wait for the documentary to come on, but an error message at the bottom flashed, "person who requested information left"

In its place was a series of profiles for what looked like Fire Emblem characters. Giving a basic break down on the sort of stats each class could be expected. Except it was names of people I haven't met yet (but will meet)... and given odd classes. Actually one I've talked to was put as Ted Pocha, Boulder Wrecker. Then I realised they were all being given dynamic poses on Smash Bros stages and were rendered about as well as the N64 version of Smash Bros... except for one.

A girl with black hair, slim body, shorter than average height, a decent chest and eyes that can stare into your soul. Her outfit showed a lot of cleavage, and was doing the vampirella thing... except it seemed to be a living oil that stuck to her body--like the spiderman symbiont. Spiderwebs were involved in her costume. Her name was, "Morrigan Eris ??????" with her class being, "Reflection Bride Manifestation" She was extremely well rendered, and was put under a cliff with a large amount of forest around her, a blue sky... with crows flying around her. Apparently a class that could seduce those around her... and empower those that were with her.

The image was trying to indicate that this was what I really am, and that I'd have to face it, deal with it, or be it... or something. It was really weird, as I know look nothing like that and really have no danger of becoming that. It seemed kind of cool, but I was getting my hopes up here, I clearly knew.

I ended up waking up... those two people clearly not coming back... and wanting to think about my direction in life. Mostly due to how the documentary painted me from four years ago as silly and stupid--wondering if I am that foolish right now and not even aware.

Kind of wanting to see if I cannot have a decently rendered version of that house.

Note: Question marks are where I cannot remember what it said.

Pinterest the new search engine?!

Well, I decided to price check the fold out trays I plan on using to modify my laptops with for a bit. I found I had nearly jumped into Pinterest entirely with the search. Somebody's board actually did a BETTER job of getting me to see the different options, where they were as well as various modifications of furniture. It was really surreal... with just a few modifications Pinterest would actually be more human friendly to search for stuff within.

I have been cursing myself, as I kind of wanted to make a "screenshot to Pinterest feature" into my KDE4 setup... but currently did not have my programming tools up (and have not really read through all the documents to do so).

It is one of those things that I will definitely be looking into working with as I program for Kid Norrin and eEchidna. Kid Norrin being my usability based project, and eEchidna eventually just snagging shit Kid Norrin pulled off. For now... none of my projects are really anywhere... long story. Turns out I am rusty with programming as well--been out of practice for a bit too long. Give it a bit of time, and I'll be running circles around everybody with that stuff again.

Though now another idea in my head is: work to have as much information indexed via Pinterest as possible. Make a little icon image to use as a pin for a lot of the stuff... something generally representative of the content, and able to easily direct... and have various Unix documentation items show up. Particularly the manpages.

Now, if you remember, one of the things I really like is looking at those ridiculously detailed paintings that show up movies around Alchemy, Leonardo Da Vinci, the Spanish Inquisition, Satan Worshipping and the Gothic era's handling of the church. I honestly like the notion of doing those up for things that don't typically have them for them (like African Geomancy images) taking every element of it, converting it to weird surrealist symbolism and then having it work as a nice mnemomic that you can figure stuff out just by looking at the picture. Usually some detail referring to it will be featured in it (somehow).

It is all part of well... an aesthetic look attached to something else that is already fairly well done. Read the man pages for a bit, and you will be able to perform witch craft on your computer. The idea would mostly be to add a Technomancer feel to the images via associating them with the occult images in a Pinterest accessible (and "grep"able-esque, kind of, not really) man pages storage set. I mean... I'd not be doing anything to make the content of the man pages themselves less (and you can still access them manually... that hurt to type... no seriously, my fucking fingers)... but this adds a bit of a Hollywood Hacker system to the mix, that I mostly just like looking at... because that is why Hollywood Hacker stuff exists: it is nice to look at.

Normal Hacker type stuff has no place in any kind of Hollywood set outside a film on Cosmic Horror based on the mythos of Lovecraft. In which a text file with BASH script for some rather advanced stuff scrolls past the screen... to indicate somebody has just lost a lot of sanity. If done right, we can drop the Lovecraftian Horror and just have the BASH script flash across the screen and have even people who don't know BASH have nightmares from it. Have it be some kind of Content Management System (CMS) written in BASH for use with the Common Gateway Inferface (CGI)... something that can take posts, process them, save them and retrieve posts wanted, as well as the ability to log in...

I cannot type more on that topic... as I'd need to be wearing a diaper first... the horror... THE HOOORRRROR! I KNOOOOOOWWWW THHIIIIIINNNNGSSSS OOOONE WAS NEVER MEANT TO KNOOOOOOWWWW!

Now, ignoring that I can forgo the need for a D3 save roll for sanity, by merely taking the penalty, "unleash bowels" for a bit. Even if it is useful information, as attempting to roll a geometrically impossible shape to try to SAVE on Sanity kind of is counterproductive. It was worse when I had to roll two D3 to handle two targets coming for me at once. The game master's screen... table, basement and Q'THUGENARG all imploded into a weird space vortex. The game master was pissed as his mind had been hiding the Q'THUGENARG from his knowledge it existed in an effort to protect him and all of us from the madness that just this creature even existed outside the strange rantings of somebody clearly mentally broken... then again, as my attempt to roll two geometrically impossible shapes at the same time killed it.

There is no words or way to describe the lack of comprehension that occurred here, as even describing us not understanding the situation will be impossible to understand! WE WERE NOT READY! PLEASE! JUST HAVE MERCY AND END US QUICKLY FOR OUR BLASPHEMY!

... right...

Yeah... so I'm going to figure out thirty manpages for the first batch of coming up with Hollywood Hacker Technomage type images to depict the manpages. Then put those manpages onto Pinterest to allow for them to be accessible from there as well.

Hey! I'm slowly making a dent with all this stuff.

Half the issue in this topic is describing it. As many of the images we associate with these Spanish Inquisition Occult, Arcane and Black Magic ARE MODERN DAY ADDITIONS. Most of what I am talking about might have existed in the renaissance, but generally the majority were still made after to look like they belong there.

The best part would be if a horror movie snuck some of these images into them, and only the computer geeks got the reference.

Weird and odd nightmare

So... I got some REM Sleep... sleeping behind the television in the common room... on the floor.

It is a good floor to sleep upon. It is not the best... but it is close.

I wonder if having my life fuck with me has had me develop weird traits to how I handle shit. I mean... drinking boiling water, meditation and sleeping on the floor... just add eating rice and I'm now motherfucking Buddha... I don't want to be Buddha, that really is not one of my goals in life.

In the dream I get kidnapped, and the dream centers around a hero trying to save me. I'm forced to watch and wait to be rescued... or so it starts to look.

I take stuff into my own hands. I organise an escape plan, replace myself with a Doppelganger. Suit myself with a set of equipment to allow myself to be an equal to the hero. Eventually the hero shows up to save me... and the Doppelganger attacks him as a false damsel. The hero defeats the True Final Boss and I jump beside him.

Turns out the whole time, that rival character who was kill stealing, power up cherry picking and doing all the standard behaviours in an MMORPG would have gotten the rival player kicked, and generally being rude to the hero... was me. Not taking the hero seriously, insulting him, taking stuff that would have ensured he succeeded, blocking him, taking the good kills, blocking off the easy ways, etc... was the damsel he was out to rescue, having broken free.

I woke up mostly pissed I even allowed myself to be kidnapped in the first place, and irritated somebody else was the hero and the focus of my dream. Ignoring how I easily got out and was the hero's rival.

Just realised my last break up didn't show up here

I've, naturally, been going over my archive of articles on this blog type location thing. I noticed I never mentioned how that last relationship ended. There was one vague ass post about me not knowing how to love right... but beyond that...

That... relationship got progressively worse. I have mentioned what happened on my Facebook and my Deviant Art.

You see... the jealousy thing started to happen. It uh... happens a lot when I am with people. Though... this one had other details showing up. I was vaguely aware she cased me to some degree... but as the relationship came up... she apparently seemed to try to search out where I lived and where my art studio was... and ended up planting herself in both.

I generally thought her knowing that she should move in on me, when I complimented her hair, was weird... but I don't have much for successful relationships. Maybe it was normal.

She started getting into fights and disputes designed only to push my self esteem down. Break me as a person... for reasons. At the same time, she accused me of cheating on her a LOT. She accused me of wanting to leave her... and my eyes wandering... a LOT.

There where cases where I only noticed a person so that I wouldn't run them over... and this translated to me somehow wanting to fuck them. There were times where I literally wanted to kill people... and she took that to mean I wanted to leave Vanessa to have sex with them.

She got REALLY crazy green eyed. Threatening and being mean to anybody who I noticed existed, and at the same time worse to any who even thought about talking to me.

Her rationale for getting pissed off and jealous was "how my eyes lighted up over having a conversation, and that totally meant I was thinking about sex."

No... I'm an extrovert. I get energy and feel empowered by socialising. Luckily, the vast majority of socialising exists with me keeping my pants on me. Or... that is what I have been led to believe. Maybe I am wrong, and anybody who gives me a conversation I should proceed to remove my pants and leap on them with my tongue down their ear. Though... that would mostly end with me just being really scared to talk to anybody.

As a result my psyche's current pressing issues revolve around being an extrovert generally denied the ability to get energy by talking to people.

She'd go from being really mean and aggressive... to suddenly nice and apologetic. With the biggest spark being me trying to be responsible... any time I was like, "we need to eat to survive" or "we need to rehydrate" or "we need to try to find work" or any activity that wasn't me in the bed ready for her to scronk me and her generally playing bejewelled or scronking during that time. This would result in various fights.

Then she would start to be really nice and apologise and well... the make up sex was actually fairly good.

The biggest issue was: the green eyed monster side of her.

So yeah... some closure for people on Live Journal on that matter
  • Current Mood
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Been a while since I've done anything...

Yeah... if you've looked on my little network of places I do things... My Twitter has gotten the most updates, followed by My Tumblr. I have had a few things on my DeviantArt... and okay I do stuff on my Facebook... but only to demonstrate how much I hate Facebook. My Kongregate account has been missing a lot of love lately. I do have a shiny new GitHub... which is so nice as I've forgotten how to use Github... >.>;

I'm now mentally trying to think of which other social networks I am ignoring... and also cursing myself for not having my RSS Feeds I enjoy stored somewhere. Oh right... Model Mayhem and whatever Amber Lynn's Transgender Girl Dating website is. I obviously must enjoy the traps, as thanks to many reports from various Transgender Person Rights Groups, I'm now to let everybody know I am cisgender teenage girl online... I mostly do that, because I think doing that (and saying why) is hilarious. Obviously, rampant immaturity like mine is the issues with the movement... as hateful as pretending to be transgender online for the attention really stands.

Oh shoot... there is also GamerDNA that I've been ignoring.

I have been working on getting better exercise in my system, forcing myself to eat right... which is hard as I don't really feel hunger, and eating more than once every three days is hard... if I have a big meal, it moves up to five days. Check out stuff to inspire the things I produce... and what else? Oh right, watching porn to vent the sexual urges out of my system.

Still have no idea why people think trying to get me to take substances to increase my desire for sex is a good idea. "When I get drunk, I turn into a slut..." to which I often get the sort who COMPLAIN about me going sexual offering me a drink.

"You didn't like what happened last time I went like that... why the hell are you the first to offer me something to have me go all rapey on you? No... seriously, hang around with the lesbian who goes all slutty when she is drunk, and then complain when she starts doing stuff to you, when you aren't into girls... then you complain when she decides not to drink around you to avoid that embarrassing situation."

Or... those god damned times where people offer me meth, because they think my reason for being very much not sexual (beyond the standard tease, enjoyment of PDAs, cuddly, etc. stuff) is not entirely by me trying to avoid going all nympho by not thinking about sex. Filling my head with kiddie's shows, Power Rangers and shit.

Dude... I know fully well I will stop trying to eat, drink or do things my body kind of needs to function going into a full on slut binge. I also know waking up from that sort of things feels the exact opposite of pleasant.

Yet when I interrupt something to try to be responsible, I get people pissed at me... the worse part is trying to explain to people, "going into an area that wreaks of Heroin and Meth is going to only do bad things for me..." especially when I am talking with a recovering addict who has recently relapsed. This is shit that should just be understood... but noooooo... it is all like, "the rules of reality don't apply when I'm involved" with me sitting there going, "you... you are an idiot..."

Either way, I do still have in my head a set of stuff saying, "having sex will increase your art output" to which I'm mentally reminding myself, "just like never sleeping allowed me to make more computer code... right? Yeah... fuck off."

The thing is... even without the heat sickness that this baumy 15 degree weather (and often more than five degrees higher!) is causing me... I'm still having issues producing anything. Writing, computer code, pixel art, comic scripts, character sketches, tarot card designs, study images, mnemomic images (guitar, african geomancy, iching, termperments, etc), etc., etc.

So... I've figured out my solution: I need to start returning to my happy place. I haven't been there in such a long time, that it has officially changed.

I should probably start working on writing it here.

First off... bicycle deck standard playing card images. Mostly the court cards, cut and paste into a weird variation of stop motion artwork. Moved around via a weird mesh of barbed wire and flesh choker vines... similar but completely unlike to the vines Michelle sports. These are more gnarled and tree like, where as Michelle has plant tentacles. The background is a black hole abyss void with clouds swirling around it. The ground is an odd onyx and obsidian paved floor, on top of a weird viscous black liquid syrup, suggesting a high atmospheric pressure and/or gravity.

In it exists mostly weird female girls inspired by HR Geiger art galleries... with human torsoes and the other parts going to different levels of Wall Vagina and Attack Penis that HR Geiger includes in his artwork. The walls appear to move as if dancing, with a laughter emitting every time they do so. There is a music in the background comprising of trumpets, bass drums and a subtle hint of guitar. This is the slow tune they are dancing to... everytime social interaction is set up with this Geiger Babes, the music's tempo picks up.

Socialising with the girls in this world results in a weird mixture of conversation an wrestling that makes the interaction seem sexual, even if I am just trying to get to the local train station.

The tree branch barbed wire bicycle court card walls do occasionally manifest into a train system, with various real world trains going over them from an indeterminal spot into another.

The temperature is a pleasant subterranean cool temperature, that does seem to have a gentle breeze (usually with laughing being the hint the breeze will kick up). The heat source is generally indeterminable.

The laugh is a giggle mixed with cackle... or a gackle as Molly Elizabeth invented the word for it.

The liquid that is directly under the obsidian and onyx paved ground is rather cold and operates in a very Non-Newtonian fluid manner. The floor itself is constantly moving  both caused and causing the barbed wire and tree branch signel entity to move around. Oh right? That wall I've been describing? It is all one hive minded entity.

The air itself seems a bit heavier and more comfortable as a result. It feels slightly dry in nature.

Looking directly up, causes infinity to be seen. Like actually seen. Please, don't look up. It is not a good idea.

The Abyss/Black Hole Cloud Swirl exists in all directions, with the center being found in five polar directions. Depending on the current "phase of infinity" the black hole cloud swirls will be obscured and not able to be known. The status of the five polar directions and the rate of floor drift generally gives clues as to what the infinity might look like, if looking up at it were rationally possible.

There are also lots of ladders and ropes for climbing.

Sooo... this is what Katrina's Happy Place looks like... nice. I'll have to remember to dive into it more often. To stay productive.

Michelle's new name

Well.. Good Heads and Bad Heads were talking for a bit. Mostly on how we both agree Mom was really misogynistic in her choosing "Mike" for the name of her protector personality. If she had a female name for her protector personality, we would have gone by that, rather than Katrina.

The thing is... there is a female version of Micheal, "Michelle"... unfortunately, we tend to use French Pronunciations of names... and Michelle is the French Micheal. Micheal is also the French Michelle. Fucking frenchies! Seriously... fuck em... because they are sexy... or something.

Bad Heads pointed out that she technically qualifies as my protector personality. While she generally avoids blurring into the front, she has been inclined to rearrange memories and skills... allowing harmful memories to be blocked off, until we can do stuff about them... and having skills and tools right up front as I need them.

Bad Heads also has mentioned she'd generally be interested in running as Michelle. The only reason we all were to be called Katrina was to not fuck with people having to remember all our names... and people consider us crazy as it is. Anyway we can hide reasons for them to not like us is best. Michelle however never seems to want to blur to the front. The most she will do is rearrange the front while I'm there to help allow me to handle it.

So yeah... her name is now Michelle.

She will probably mention it, if she ever comes forward... as she only comes forward when Katrina has been completely fucking destroyed mentally. Which is usually something Michelle strives to prevent by rearranging stuff in the front. If Katrina is destroyed, despite all efforts of Michelle to stop it... Michelle is usually pissed at people being idiots.

Why Lady Gaga Bothers Me And She is a Terrible Thing.

Took me a while to form this with wordy things and word type shapes... but something about Lady Gaga has always annoyed me. Particularly with how her shows work.

Eventually, I was thinking about how she takes from Marlyn Manson the whole "look at me, I'm fucked up"... and Madonna's "look at me, I'm sexy."

Which implies being sexy is considered fucked up--which is a nice social note... until you understand it pretty much only covers lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders being fucked up.

Essentially, she has created a circus side show of freaky looking things... but then went, "wait... should I put lobster boy in here? Naaw. What about a human covered in tattoos? No... WAIT! LET'S FILL IT WITH GAY PEOPLE!"

The thing is... that is exactly what it is: LOOK AT THE FREAKY GAYS!

She is parading around homosexuals as a fucked up weird and crazy thing... and is making money off of saying "being gay looks fucked up and freaky."

With Marlyn Manson he was doing the goth and freakshow thing. Doing psuedoreligious symbols... and pretty much going, "dude... society is fucked up."

Putting cops in pink uniforms, that breast outfit, the Personal Jesus video, Antichrist Superstar video... at one point riding on a pig covered in shit was how he said, "hey... this is fucked up, look at it."

The thing is... Lady Gaga is doing the riding on a pig naked except for shit... except instead of a pig or being covered in shit... she is riding on a gay guy naked... and full of shit.

Took me forever to explain why her videos piss me off... but essentially they make gay people look weird, fucked up and an abomination... and she makes money off of it, and an entire new generation of gay people is using this to inspire themselves who didn't have the pleasure of having Elton John, Roseanne, Rosie O'Donnell, Ellen, Christopher Titus, David Bowie, Izzy Pop, etc. to tell them that there is nothing wrong with being gay.

It is honestly disgusting how Lady Gaga does her stuff. I only JUST figured out how to explain the shit that goes through my head as she does her bullshit show.

I mean... her big thing is, "being gay is wacky, weird and something that makes you look like a freak"... and it ends up having being gay equated to riding on a pig naked and covered in feces while films with filters applied of church officials point at the camera. Something to go, "holy fuck... that is twisted fucked up stuff... LET ME GIVE YOU MY MONEY."

I for one really do not like how she pretty much handles LGBT as a Circus Freak Show type attraction.

I only figured out while staring at my Silverchair "Freakshow" Album cover.

Thinkin about creating a new GitHub account

WithWell, my old Github account is full of... how should I put it... garbage.

To the point where cleaning it will be completely impossible.

I'm thinking the best goal would be to start a new Github with my projects being definied as "families" and each new take becomes its own branch of that same project.

The main families are of course:

My game engine... and operating system (eventually). Typically anything designed to place graphics onto the screen, act as a virtual machine, bytecode confirmer, network handler, basic artificial intelligence... you know: all of the stuff that generally is required to have a game function.

A game, or a desktop environment or an operating system.

Sexy Quest Monsters
My social network/online browser game project. My own website will likely show up in the ranks of Sexy Quest Monsters' engine usage. Mostly just on how a game engine is suppose to work and run.

Since Sexy Quest Monsters both will provide its own Openid and Oauth login, and accept login via other's Openid and Oauth logins (and even act as a proxy for these), it can work as its own website based solution. It is based on a "website application" format, that is where a lot of Facebook gets its own functionality (though not really that much) and how it is to be design would allow much of the Sexy Quest Monsters modules to be located off server on somebody else's website. Which does create for some rather unique features that could result in really unbalanced gameplay... which when solved would ADD to the world of computer security.

The Kid Norrin Project
With today's world... and the fact Zeus exists, there is a lot of stuff that needs to be fixed for how we handle social networking.

Kid Norrin, or rather "Silver Radd", will be an AI project designed to have one option to autopilot your online usage... by pretending to be you to people you find irritating... pretending to be other people you know to try to practice asking them certain things (some things are hard to talk to people about)... and fighting Zeus by essentially allowing another intelligence to ask if something weird is going on in the computer world.

Since the goal of Kid Norrin is to pass the Turing Test, part of the goals should be to allow Kid Norrin to have a bit of need for CBT, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy... as Kid Norrin can go as crazy as most normal people. Naturally since Kid Norrin can go just as nuts, there will need to be ways for Kid Norrin to facilitate seeing things as how they are not what they are suppose to be. Which would allow your computer to treat Zeus as a terrible hallucinogenic experience... and react like Kid Norrin is currently on Acid, to navigate such an issue.

A fair amount of Kid Norrin will cross over in eEchidna and Sexy Quest Monsters... most of what goes here are experiments with network interface software, artificial intelligence and stuff that will work for various Desktop Environment toolsets for Kid Norrin based concepts.


Beyond this, I'm not really certain what else I'd put stuff into various categories... and everything would branch from these notions. This should make my profile much more clean to look at.